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Week Beginning 18th January 2021

Friday , January 22nd

Editing a biography

Hi everyone, we are now at the editing stage. To edit means to make our work even better than it is. This is such an important part of the writing process. Even famous authors like J k Rowling will have had an editor check their writing  for mistakes. 


Tips for editing


  • use a different colour pen, so you can clearly see your corrections
  • read your work out loud ; it is much easier to spot any mistakes
  • use the checklist below to help you - tick off the checklist as you go along


Editing checklist​​​​​​


  • capital letters and full stops
  • title
  • sub - headings
  • chronological order
  • third person pronouns - she, her, they , their, 
  • past tense most of the time but not always
  • facts - dates, numbers
  • conjunctions - time openers


Also, please watch the video from the Oak Academy website where another teacher explains the editing process. Good luck!

Click on link here
This is the children acting out their introduction for the Jessica Ennis biography! Hollywood beckons!

Y5 Talk for writing

Look at this amazing work from HM and FA. Well done superstars!

Thursday, 21st January

Finally, we are getting towards the end of our 1st draft. 

The final part is our conclusion, which children always find a little tricky. Do not worry;Mr Rist is here to soothe away your worries!

Top tips for your conclusion:

  • make it short - no more than 2/3 sentences
  • start with a conjunction - To conclude, In conclusion, To summarise
  • make a general statement - why this person is famous
  • justify the statement - explain why she is famous


Read my Conclusion:


To conclude, Jessica Ennis - Hill is regarded as one of the successful British athletes of all time. Even though she has struggled with serious injuries, she has won so many titles and medals in an incredible career.


If you finish the conclusion, can you act it out and draw a story map to go with. 

Click on the link here

Wednesday, 20th January

Today, I would like you to complete paragraphs 4 and 5 , which are the paragraphs on her Junior career and Professional Career.

Click on link here

Tuesday, 19th January

Writing 2nd and 3rd paragraph of biography

This lesson, you are going to write the paragraph 2 and 3 of your biography. Please watch the videos, magpie some of my ideas and use your plans

Y5 Modelling writing part 1

Y5 Modelling writing part 2

Click on link here

Monday, 18th January

Hello wonderful Walkley children! I hope you managed to get out in the snow last week; I was bombing super fast with my sledge down some steep slopes in the heart of Sheffield.


We are now focusing on the Talk for Writing part of our biography. Please click on the video of myself acting out the introduction. Once, you have practiced the actions, can you write your own introduction. Good luck!

Talk for writing

Y5 Talk for writing actions

Some amazing work on the planning from HM! Well done, superstar!
Great story map from ZJ! Well done!