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Monday 15th June

Before you do anything... watch this video!

CGI 3D Animated Short: "Light" - by The Light Team | TheCGBros

Watch this cute and wonderfully animated 3D animated short called "Light" about a young girl, Charly, and her assistant robot, Bob-e, as she tests her ecolog...

Your task this week is to design and sell your new robot helper

In the video, there is a young girl trying to design an eco-friendly generator to power her neighbourhoods streetlights. She also has a little helper- who is a robot! This robot supports and helps her achieve her goal (kinda!).

 

Your task is to design your own, robot helper.

It is your choice on the look, personality and features of this robot. As it is a robot helper, you may need to start with a problem to solve. Maybe a personal football coach? Or robot to help an elderly relative? Or even a robot who helps clean your house? 

 

This task has been inspired by an artist called Terry Collier.

  • He lives in Vancouver, Canada.
  • He admires the robots of the 1950’s /60’s.
  • He pulls apart old radios, clocks and other electrical appliances to find parts to make his sculptures.
  • He gets most of parts from junk shops or flea markets.
  • He likes to give his robots personalities.
  • As an artist he also explores digital photography and  has produced a number of street art exhibitions

 

Take a look at the below examples of some of his work.

 

Think, talk or write about these questions.

 

Do you like/dislike his sculptures, explain your answer?

 

 

 

What machine parts can you spot?

 

 

 

Which sculpture do you find most interesting?

Today, you will design your robot.

 

When designing your robot you need to consider:

  • How your robot will help
  • Who your robot will help
  • What will your robot look like
  • How will it move
  • What special features will it have
  • How does it communicate and interact with humans
  • Why you have made your robot like this.

 

Open the below word document to get you started! I can't wait to see your ideas and creations :)

Thursday 11th June

Edit, Second draft and Golden Write

By this stage, you should have a completed first draft of your newspaper report.

Your task today is to edit your writing, re-write any sections you feel you could improve then complete a golden write. 

 

For your golden write, you should use your newspaper template you made on Monday. If you haven't made one yet, scroll down to Mondays lesson to get a template and look at examples of newspapers. 

 

To edit your writing, follow the below guidelines:

 

 

  1. Re-read your writing aloud (I ALWAYS TELL YOU TO DO THIS IN CLASS!). When you  read aloud, you will hear the mistake and be able to correct it, or re word the mistake. 
  2. If possible, have someone else read the story aloud to you. This person may spot some slips. Take this persons feedback on board and make the suitable edits. 
  3. Type up your written story into Microsoft word or a similar program. This has a spelling, grammar and punctuation checker built in and will highlight your slips. This is a fantastic method to see your errors and it will even give you suggestions to correct it!
  4. For just checking single words, phrases or sentences you can type it into google. If there is clear and obvious error it will say "did you mean..." with an alternative suggestion. This is not as good as Microsoft word, but certainly can help!
  5. One method that is famously used by University students to sound super posh in their essays is to search for synonyms. You have two ways of doing this. This method is good for up-levelling vocabulary and phrases.

 

  • If you are able to write your work up on Microsoft word, right click a particular word. A menu will appear. Go down to the "synonym" tab and hover your mouse over the word, and synonyms will appear to the right. This is a great way to see potential word replacements.
  • Type into google a word or phrase followed by synonyms. This will give you link to various online thesaurus websites. For example if i wanted to replace the word "nervous". I would type "nervous synonyms" into google, a have a browse of different suggestions.

 

 

For your second task today, you have the choice of three. 

I have attached three SPaG based riddles (you have seen this style in class!). Can you solve the mystery?

 

Choose between:

Spicy

Hot Spice

My mouth is LITERALLY on FIREEEEEE!

 

Take a guess which one is the hardest? 

 

Good Luck and enjoy!

 

Carry on sending me pictures of you doing your activities at home- they are amazing to see!

Tuesday 9th June

Giraffes caught diving in Sheffield swimming pool!

 

By this point you should have a newspaper front page ready to use as your golden write template. 

Today's task is to begin planning your newspaper report.

 

I have attached a plan which you can use to structure your report. Use my questions as hints as what you could include. This is only a guide... by all means edit, adapt and improve my plan to suit what you want to write about in your newspaper report!

Oh and by the way, choose your own headline!

 

If you follow my prompts and questions, then you can't go far wrong.

 

HINT: Re-watch the video a few times to help you structure your writing and plan the report.

 

Enjoy!

When you have finished your plan- begin your first draft. 

 

I would recommend using a fresh piece of paper to write your first draft and save your newspaper front page from yesterday for the golden write. However, by all means use it then just make another for the golden write! The choice is yours.

 

Before you start your first draft, have a look at this bbc bitesize page, and video, on features of a newspaper report. Take notes and refer back to them when writing your report. You could even write your own remember to's using these as a guide?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/topics/z2yycdm/articles/z2gk9qt

 

I will post again on Thursday, which means you have two days to:

  1. Complete a plan of your newspaper report.
  2. Finish your first draft of the newspaper report.

 

Speak soon!

Monday 8th June

Giraffes caught diving in Sheffield swimming pool!

 

I can't believe what I have just seen...

SPOTTED IN SHEFFIELD SWIMMING POOL

Your task is to write a newspaper report for the Sheffield Star about these crazy events!

 

This is front page, headline story. So your first job is to design this front page!

 

Your front page must include:

  • An eye-catching headline
  • Advertising (it's how they make a large part of their money!)
  • The name of the newspaper
  • The date
  • Space for a picture linked to the events
  • Space for your story!

 

Have a look at the below examples of newspapers for some inspiration!

Your task today is to begin to design your front page. Make sure you have space for your story, although you can continue your story on page 2 of your newspaper!

 

By the end of today, your front cover should have:

  • An eye-catching headline
  • A newspaper name
  • A picture linked to the story
  • A sub-story
  • Advertising
  • An eye-catching colour scheme!

 

Tomorrow we will begin to think about the content of our main story.

 

Attached are a few templates you can use to help, but by all means create your own.

 

Enjoy!

Thursday 4th June

Using commas for clarity and editing your writing.

 

 

To start today's lesson, we are going to focus on commas and how they can change the meaning of your sentence. Use the information you use today to help you edit your story! Take notes and pay attention- there are two videos below for you to watch.

Punctuation: Using commas to clarify meaning (KS2)

How To Use Comma In English Sentences

Have a go at the tasks on the document below.

 

They have a star level, one star is the easiest and three star is the hardest. You choose your level!

Your next task today is to edit your writing.

For a few tips on how to edit your writing at home:

 

  1. Re-read your writing aloud (I ALWAYS TELL YOU TO DO THIS IN CLASS!). When you  read aloud, you will hear the mistake and be able to correct it, or re word the mistake. 
  2. If possible, have someone else read the story aloud to you. This person may spot some slips. Take this persons feedback on board and make the suitable edits. 
  3. Type up your written story into Microsoft word or a similar program. This has a spelling, grammar and punctuation checker built in and will highlight your slips. This is a fantastic method to see your errors and it will even give you suggestions to correct it!
  4. For just checking single words, phrases or sentences you can type it into google. If there is clear and obvious error it will say "did you mean..." with an alternative suggestion. This is not as good as Microsoft word, but certainly can help!
  5. One method that is famously used by University students to sound super posh in their essays is to search for synonyms. You have two ways of doing this. This method is good for up-levelling vocabulary and phrases.

 

  • If you are able to write your work up on Microsoft word, right click a particular word. A menu will appear. Go down to the "synonym" tab and hover your mouse over the word, and synonyms will appear to the right. This is a great way to see potential word replacements.
  • Type into google a word or phrase followed by synonyms. This will give you link to various online thesaurus websites. For example if i wanted to replace the word "nervous". I would type "nervous synonyms" into google, a have a browse of different suggestions.

 

Give yourself today to edit your writing, then tomorrow complete a golden write. By all means illustrate your golden write, or you can even read your story aloud to your family! Enjoy Kensuke! I would love to see some examples of your work.

Tuesday 2nd June

Finish off the story...

 

"He pushed his hand into the carved hand-print on the rock, there was a rumble from beneath his feet and then it opened.  Dare he go inside?"

 

 

 

Your task today is to begin your first draft.

The first line of the story should be the one above, after that the rest is up to you!

 

Ensure you follow the Walkey way of writing.

  • Using "write a line, miss a line". This gives you room to make edits as you write your first draft, and when we complete the editing process. Nobody gets it perfect first time, and all edits, change, delete, edit and re-write whole sections before they are happy with it! 
  • Re-read each sentence and paragraph when they are written. This gives you a chance to spot your slips on each sentence. When you re-read it, do this aloud so you can hear the words, thus making it easier to spot a slip- if it doesn't sound correct, it probably isn't! So after every sentence, and paragraph re-read what you have written out loud to checked for errors!
  • Write as descriptively as possible, slowing your story down, explaining and describing the little details. When describing, think of your senses- What can be heard? What can be smelt? What can be felt? What can be seen? What can be tasted? It really will engage the reader, and help them imagine what you are writing in their head!

 

Before you get started, have a watch of this video (we have seen it in class!) of a professional author writing the first paragraph, of a first draft. Notice the way he always re-reads what he has put, and edits, changes and deletes words or sentences as he writes.

 

How to edit a short piece of writing

A ten-minute video where children's author - Tom Palmer - writes a paragraph, then edits it by adding, taking away and replacing, then reading aloud. Intende...

Give yourself around 90 minutes writing time over today and tomorrow. I will post again on Thursday! Enjoy!

Monday 1st June

Finish off the story...

This weeks writing topic you are fully in charge of. Have a read of the story starter and picture to go with it...

 

"He pushed his hand into the carved hand-print on the rock, there was a rumble from beneath his feet and then it opened.  Dare he go inside?"

Your task for today is to complete a plan for your story. It is down to you what happens.

 

Use the above picture to guide your description and set your scene, look at the size of the moon! Why is it so big? Where could you be?

Another thing, read the first line of the story carefully: "He pushed his hand into the carved hand-print on the rock,"

Carved hand-print... That means someone has been here before? What happened to them? How will this effect your story?

 

WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!

 

Use the story board below to brainstorm ideas for your story, then complete the Walkley plan after once you have an idea of the story.

Wednesday 20th May

Write your own 500 word short story

 

A major grammar feature in writing is the use of inverted commas (aka speech marks!). It is something that some people find really hard, but it can bring your story to life having your character speak their thoughts... moving the story along and help you show your characters personality through what they say.

 

Have a watch of this video, reminding us of the rules around punctuating speech correctly.

 

Punctuation: Using speech marks to punctuate direct speech (KS2)

What will I learn? How to use speech marks to help you write speech in different ways. Questions: What did Vicky report that Troy had said? What is the rule ...

Have a go at these tasks, there are two to have a go at. All you need is a pen and paper!

 

Task One

Copy these sentences into your books. Put the speech marks in the correct places.

 

  1. Quick! Pass the ball to me! Shouted Carla. No one is marking me.
  2. Can I help you? Asked the policeman. You look a bit lost young lady.
  3. Oh no! Don't let Mr Cockcroft take the penalty! Shouted Nick.
  4. I'll meet you in town, said Tom. Just by the cake shop.
  5. I've dropped my wallet, said Craig. It must be round here somewhere.
  6. Look at this picture, said Mr Pitchford. It's magnificent!

 

Task Two

Copy the passage into your books. You must add in the speech marks AND remember new speaker, new line.

 

I'm afraid I have some bad news, Mrs Brown said to the children. Your father has had an accident. What's the matter? Rob asked. Is it serious? Will he have to go to hospital? Pete asked. Will he have to have an operation? Debbie asked. Now don't worry, Mrs Brown replied. It's not as bad as all that. Someone crashed into his car but he hasn't broken any bones. That's a relief! Rob exclaimed. But I bet he's a bit shaken up, said Debbie. He sounded fine on the phone, Mrs Brown said, but the car is badly damaged. A damaged car, said Pete, is better than a damaged Dad!

 

 

 

Tuesday 19th May

Write your own 500 word short story

 

After yesterdays lesson, you should have read a few examples of short stories and finished planning your own short story.

Today's task is a simple one- begin your first draft.

Follow the Walkley way of writing:

  • Use write a line, miss a line to give yourself room to edit and make changes as you write.
  • After each sentence and paragraph, re-read what your have written to check for sense, meaning and punctuation. Make sure your read it aloud! Hearing the sentence will help you spot your slips.
  • Keep your plan in front of you as a guide. This will also help you knowing what is happening in your story and how it is ending. 

 

I usually give around 90 minutes writing time for a first draft. By all means, split this up into two 45 minutes slots if your prefer. 

 

Enjoy!! I can't wait to read your stories!

Monday 18th May

Write your own 500 word short story.

You are in charge on this one! You can decide what your story is about, who your characters are, what you will describe... Everything!

 

BBC run a 500 short story competition every year, and they have posted the top stories of 2020's competition! Some of them are incredibly inventive and well written. Click the below link and read at least 3 of these stories... I personally recommend:

 

If you would like to choose your own stories to read, follow this link:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/JBXM0fk15pltYzBjlFH8mH/top-50-stories-2020-age-10-to-13

 

They are fantastic stories and enjoyable to read!

 

Your task today is to plan your stories.

I believe they are successful because they have started with a simple, unique and thoughtful idea. Take time on your plans to think of your own starting idea. Do not have to much going on, stay simple and think outside the box. 

For your plans, you do not have to use my headings for each branch, these are a guide if your need it!

You are in charge of your story this week. 

Be creative. Be unique.

Friday 15th May

What would the world be like if everybody spoke the same language?

 

This week you have:

  • Planned your writing using a Walkley E plan
  • Written a first draft
  • Revised formal and informal language and used this to edit your writing
  • Written a second draft

 

Now it is time for the final stage: the Golden write

 

Your task today is to complete a Golden write

When I met with other schools to discuss your writing, they also complete a golden write. However, some school have there children illustrate their work. For this special golden write, I would like to illustrate your work!

 

There are two ways you can do this, you choose which one suits you best.

  1. Draw the picture first, then complete your golden write over this. You will have to be careful on your colour choice. Light colours, lightly coloured, will allow your writing to be shown better over the picture. Also, a pen will show up better for you writing, written over a coloured pencil drawing (if you use pens/felt tips for your drawing- your writing will really struggle to be seen over it!). For example:

 

   2. The other way to complete this would be write your writing up in neat, as you would usually, then illustrate after. You may want to pre-plan where your illustration will go, or you may decide to write around, under and top of the letters with small mini drawings.

 

 

 

Notice the mini little pictures this child has done to illustrate there work as well as pre-planned pictures they have wrote around!

 

I would love to see some examples of your work!

 

Enjoy :)

 

 

 

Wednesday 13th May

What would the world be like if everybody spoke the same language?

 

Formal and informal language

Balanced arguments and reports, like the one you are writing, are usually written formally. 

Watch the below video showing the differences between formal and informal writing- in the video they edit their informal writing example into formal writing. 

Formal English and informal English

Improve your English grammar with the BBC. What's the difference between formal and informal English? How do you speak more informally? Watch this free onlin...

After you have watched the video, have a go at the below mini-task.

By this stage you should nearly be finished writing your second draft.

 

Your task today is to edit your writing.  You should focus on up-leveling your writing to make it more formal.

To help you, I really recommend typing your work up into Microsoft Word, on any other similar programs. This will spell and grammar check your work. You can also use the synonyms tool which is great for making your writing more formal.

 

Watch this tutorial video on how to use the synonym tool on Microsoft word:

How to use synonyms in Microsoft Word 2010?

In this short video, you will learn how to use synonyms to enrich your writing in Microsoft Word 2010. Produced by Business Productivity. https://www.busines...

Your task today is to edit your writing.

For a few tips on how to edit your writing at home, last week I posted this:

 

  1. Re-read your writing aloud (I ALWAYS TELL YOU TO DO THIS IN CLASS!). When you  read aloud, you will hear the mistake and be able to correct it, or re word the mistake. 
  2. If possible, have someone else read the story aloud to you. This person may spot some slips. Take this persons feedback on board and make the suitable edits. 
  3. Type up your written story into Microsoft word or a similar program. This has a spelling, grammar and punctuation checker built in and will highlight your slips. This is a fantastic method to see your errors and it will even give you suggestions to correct it!
  4. For just checking single words, phrases or sentences you can type it into google. If there is clear and obvious error it will say "did you mean..." with an alternative suggestion. This is not as good as Microsoft word, but certainly can help!
  5. One method that is famously used by University students to sound super posh in their essays is to search for synonyms. You have two ways of doing this. This method is good for up-levelling vocabulary and phrases.

 

  • If you are able to write your work up on Microsoft word, right click a particular word. A menu will appear. Go down to the "synonym" tab and hover your mouse over the word, and synonyms will appear to the right. This is a great way to see potential word replacements.
  • Type into google a word or phrase followed by synonyms. This will give you link to various online thesaurus websites. For example if i wanted to replace the word "nervous". I would type "nervous synonyms" into google, a have a browse of different suggestions.

Tuesday 12th May

What would the world be like if everybody spoke the same language?

Task for today, start your first draft.

Have your plan from yesterday in front of you and refer to it throughout your writing. 

I would recommend using each branch to structure your writing, using each one as one or two paragraphs. 

 

Remember, in Walkley we write using write-a-line, miss-a-line to give ourselves space to edit our work.

 

Use the sentence starters and key words below to help you to structure your writing. You should try to use key geographical terms such as sustainable, social, economic, and environmental. You might also think about how the world would change in the short term and long term.

 

If everybody spoke the same language, it would be good because…

 

However, it would also be bad because…

 

Overall, I think that if everybody spoken the same language...

 

Key words

Sustainable – The ability for something to keep going without negative consequences.

Social – how would something affect people eg. Jobs, health and education

Economic – how would something affect money

Environmental – how would something affect the natural world

Monday 11th May

What would the world be like if…

 

Everybody spoke the same language?

 

Write a balanced argument answering this question.

This year we wrote a balanced argument answering the question "Should Walkley Primary School include an afternoon playtime into its time table?".

 

Click the link for a reminder what is meant by the term "balanced argument".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wmtm9jOIgsA

 

Did you notice, its the same video we watched in class...

 

So a balanced argument needs to look at BOTH sides of an argument.

 

So for our question: "What would the world be like if everybody spoke the same language?"

 

We need to write reasons why it would be a good idea and reasons why it would be a bad idea.

 

After you have researched, discussed and written the good and bad ideas about the world speaking the same language you need to write a conclusion. In the conclusion you will decide if you think it would be a good or bad, based on the  ideas your have written about in your report.

 

Today's task is to plan your balanced argument.

Below I have attached an example plan, in the same format we use in school.

Below is an example plan done by your favourite teacher (Mr Williamson, obviously?).

For your plans:

  •  You do not need to use full sentences. Plans are used to write your ideas done, write in note form or shorter sentences. 
  • I use the "branches" to expand on my ideas. I have added more detail to each idea. This will give me more to write about when I I start my first draft, and help me avoid being stuck with what to write next.
  • I used the internet to give me ideas, as part of some research! Try googling "what would the world be like if everybody spoke the same language" and see what ideas other people have. 
  • You do not have to use my headings for my paragraphs, or my ideas. But you can use them if it helps you get started!

 

Your task for today is to plan your balanced argument, answering the question :"what would the world be like if everybody spoke the same language?"

 

If, like me, you do not have a printer at home you can draw your own Walkley E plan on a piece of a paper. I used a whiteboard! 

You have the choice of your subheadings and ideas, but you can use my plans subheadings if it helps you get started.

 

I will post tomorrow about starting your first draft!

Bye for now...

Thursday 7th May

By this stage you should be near the end of your first draft, or you may even have completed your editing and second draft.

 

For a few tips on how to edit your writing at home, last week I posted this:

 

  1. Re-read your writing aloud (I ALWAYS TELL YOU TO DO THIS IN CLASS!). When you  read aloud, you will hear the mistake and be able to correct it, or re word the mistake. 
  2. If possible, have someone else read the story aloud to you. This person may spot some slips. Take this persons feedback on board and make the suitable edits. 
  3. Type up your written story into Microsoft word or a similar program. This has a spelling, grammar and punctuation checker built in and will highlight your slips. This is a fantastic method to see your errors and it will even give you suggestions to correct it!
  4. For just checking single words, phrases or sentences you can type it into google. If there is clear and obvious error it will say "did you mean..." with an alternative suggestion. This is not as good as Microsoft word, but certainly can help!
  5. One method that is famously used by University students to sound super posh in their essays is to search for synonyms. You have two ways of doing this. This method is good for up-levelling vocabulary and phrases.

 

  • If you are able to write your work up on Microsoft word, right click a particular word. A menu will appear. Go down to the "synonym" tab and hover your mouse over the word, and synonyms will appear to the right. This is a great way to see potential word replacements.
  • Type into google a word or phrase followed by synonyms. This will give you link to various online thesaurus websites. For example if i wanted to replace the word "nervous". I would type "nervous synonyms" into google, a have a browse of different suggestions.

 

Note the bottom two bullet points which use the term "synonyms". 

We have completed a lot of work in class on synonyms (and antonyms!). Synonyms are a fantastic way to up-level your writing and expand your range of vocabulary, making your sentences more engaging for the reader. 

 

First, watch this video. It is a clear, concise explanation on what we mean by the term synonym and antonym.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBWm3-mxL1U

 

So synonyms are words that are similar in meaning, for example: Anxious and nervous are synonyms!

 

Antonyms are words that are the opposite in meaning, for example: good and bad are antonyms!

 

Attached below is a set of Loop Cards.

You would have seen something similar in Walkley. Your task is to put the Loop cards in the correct order, following the instruction it has on the card. Like dominoes!

Each card is split in two. 

For example, on the right side of the card it may say  "an antonym for hot", so you would find a card which has an antonym for hot (cold, maybe?) on its left side.  

 

Open the document below and write down the loop cards on a piece of paper, cut them out into card shapes and see if you can connect them all!

 

Enjoy Kensukes!

 

 

 

 

Tuesday 5th May

The task: Write a diary entry from the perspective of a soldier living in a World War One trench.

 

Your task today is to begin your write! 

To succeed in this task you should aim to:

  • Be as historically accurately as possible and show off your knowledge of this time period. 
  • Effectively display the emotions of your character, showing the hard ships of life in a trench for a WW1 soldier.
  • Write an interesting story.

 

Below I have got an example of a good diary entry. 

Click the document and read my diary entry. Ask yourself- What makes this a good diary entry? How does this hit the success criteria? 

When writing my diary entry, I have tried to reference the time period to make my writing as authentic as possible.

 

 Example of this are:

"After only a few weeks of training, we arrived at the trenches: fresh faced, under prepared but ready to give the Hun a beating and be back by Christmas"

 

". ‘Your country needs YOU’ screamed out at me from every wall and street corner in early 1914. "

 

"Suddenly, I heard a rustling. I jerked up quickly looking to see what it was but reprimanded myself for doing so. It was probably just a rat. "

 

When writing my diary entry, I have tried to write an interesting story. Before I did this I wrote down my ideas, using a Walkley plan like in school! I highly recommend writing down your ideas before your begin your write.

 

My story begins dramatically, where my character is facing the turmoil of his first kill.

After, he flashes back to the reasons he went to war- for the money!

Then we return to the present, where he hears noise across no-mans land. This ends with another life lost in war.

 

To tell this story effectively, I have tried to display the emotions of my character. Examples of this are:

 

"You’re meant to feel something aren’t you? But all I feel is this numb black hole in my stomach. I can’t eat or sleep, so I’m up now writing this. "

 

"I was tired of being pulled along and turned upside down by life. A fire was growing in me and I needed to act on it"

 

"The weather was bitterly cold and the wind pierced my very heart. I wrapped my arms around me trying to keep what little warmth I had inside of me. "

 

 

 

 

Now begin your first draft. Have your research table from yesterday and any plan you may have made in front of you. 

Remember, use write a line miss a line to give you space to make those important edits!

 

 

Enjoy Kensuke. I will post again on Friday with some synonym and antonym work, which will be related to your writing.

Monday 4th May

 

The task: Write a diary entry from the perspective of a soldier living in a World War One trench.

 

This weeks write is based around World War One,  a topic we covered in depth at the start of year 6. 

To succeed in this task you must:

 

  • Show off your knowledge of life in the trenches, using specific vocabulary from the time period.
  • Accurately display the emotions of a soldier in the trenches, this will show your understanding of the conditions they faced.
  • Create an interesting story to tell in your diary entry.
  • Make your diary entry as authentic as possible.

 

Your job today is to re-visit the topic, research it so you have lots of knowledge on life in that time period that you can use in your diary to make it authentic and historically accurate.

 

Below is a picture of a table you can use to research the topic and the document of the table.

 

Task: Using the variety of resources I have provided you, fill out the below table. You want your diary entry to be as authentic as possible, replicating the thoughts, feelings and surroundings of a solider during this horrendous part of history.

 

Some of your information will be directly from the videos and pictures. For example: In the trenches they had a firestep to see over the top of the trench or In the trenches the soldiers had dugouts where they slept, played cards and ate their meals.

 

Some of your information will be inferred from the videos and pictures. For example: In the trenches soldiers would feel heartbroken because they are missing their families or Soldiers would feel uncomfortable being in wet, water-logged trenches all day, every day.

 

Below is a link to the videos we watched in class and the pictures we looked at when we were researching this topic. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvYIIuxh2kY&t=82s

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgykKEhfEok

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFj23OFl2Kw

 

 

Thursday 30th April

The task: Write a story based around a new child being sucked into a new doll, using the story of Alma as inspiration

 

As people write at different speeds and as people write different lengths pieces, you may or may not have finished your first draft. 

If you have not finished your first draft, your task is to carry on with your first draft. 

 

Editing your writing

Today's post is a short one, and is about editing your writing.

 

There are a few different methods you can use to independently edit your work at home. The more methods you use, the more chance of spotting your slips, up-leveling your sentences and writing a more enjoyable story.

 

  1. Re-read your writing aloud (I ALWAYS TELL YOU TO DO THIS IN CLASS!). When you  read aloud, you will hear the mistake and be able to correct it, or re word the mistake. 
  2. If possible, have someone else read the story aloud to you. This person may spot some slips. Take this persons feedback on board and make the suitable edits. 
  3. Type up your written story into Microsoft word or a similar program. This has a spelling, grammar and punctuation checker built in and will highlight your slips. This is a fantastic method to see your errors and it will even give you suggestions to correct it!
  4. For just checking single words, phrases or sentences you can type it into google. If there is clear and obvious error it will say "did you mean..." with an alternative suggestion. This is not as good as Microsoft word, but certainly can help!
  5. One method that is famously used by University students to sound super posh in their essays is to search for synonyms. You have two ways of doing this. This method is good for up-levelling vocabulary and phrases.

 

  • If you are able to write your work up on Microsoft word, right click a particular word. A menu will appear. Go down to the "synonym" tab and hover your mouse over the word, and synonyms will appear to the right. This is a great way to see potential word replacements.
  • Type into google a word or phrase followed by synonyms. This will give you link to various online thesaurus websites. For example if i wanted to replace the word "nervous". I would type "nervous synonyms" into google, a have a browse of different suggestions.

 

Your task for today  (Thursday) and tomorrow (Friday) is to finish your first draft, edit your writing using the above methods, and then write a second draft with your edits. If you want, publish by completing a Golden Write- you could even illustrate it like a book would! 

 

I can't wait to read your stories team year 6!

Wednesday 29th April

The task: Write a story based around a new child being sucked into a new doll, using the story of Alma as inspiration.

 

After our last two days work, you will have an outline of your new Alma story, with your new character and your new doll.

You will also have expanded noun phrases that you can take straight from yesterdays task and directly write into your story, to bring your story alive with amazing description.

 

Your task for today is to complete a first draft of your story!

You have the chance to be creative here, you can continue to use the Alma story as inspiration. However, your story will have your own character, and own doll. It is up to you how the character ends up writing on the chalkboard, enters the shop and gets sucked into doll. 

 

How are you going to build tension? How are you going to make the reader want to read on? How are you going to use the little details to bring the story alive?

 

As you write, ask yourselves these questions.

 

I will post tomorrow on how you can edit your first draft whilst at home. By all means though, independently edit and improve your writing as you go. 

 

Enjoy Kensukes!

ALMA- Tuesday 28th April

 

The task: Write a story based around a new child being sucked into a new doll, using the story of Alma as inspiration.

 

Expanded Noun Phrases

For today's lesson we are going to look at literary device that can bring our descriptive writing to another level, making our story more interesting for the reader! 

We have looked at expanded noun phrases a lot in year 6, especially during our Alma story. 

 

An expanded noun phrase is describing a noun in two ways, with added information added also. 

The expanded noun phrase can turn a boring sentence into an exciting, imaginative one.

 

First of, watch this video of expanded noun phrases (this is the one we looked at it in class!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fCk8ye4jio

 

Secondly, watch this absolutely bonkers explanation of an expanded noun phrase...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhEoRVNJfDs

 

 

Ok, so we've reminded ourselves what an expanded noun phrase is. In class we used Mr Williamson's expanded noun phrase machine to generate some amazing descriptive sentences to put into our stories.

 

It looked like this...

 

  1. Start with a noun.
  2. Describe the noun in two ways.
  3. Insert a comma between the adjectives.
  4. Add extra information.

 

The documents for the expanded noun machine is below. This is the same one you cut out and stuck into your literacy books. 

If, like me, you do not have a printer at home you can write the different steps at the top of your page.

 

 

 

 

 

On the Expanded noun phrase machine I have put some ideas of nouns you could use in your machine. However, as this is YOUR story. Re-watch the Alma clip and look at what nouns you could use. There are so many! 

Write down as many as you can, aim for at least ten different nouns. 

 

This is the Alma clip:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw0uORumRts

 

Ok, now you have your nouns. You can start to build an expanded noun phrase.

 

Look at my example below.

 

I start by writing the different steps at the top of the page.

Next, I choose a noun. I have chosen "hat". (In my storyboard my character had a hat on! ) 

After that, I describe the noun in two ways. I have described it as "dusty " and "navy".

I make sure that I have inserted a comma between the adjectives. 

 

 

 

Now I add extra information. I have added "... tumbled of his head as he fell to the ground". 

 

My expanded noun phrase is now "his dusty, navy school hat tumbled of his head as he fell to the ground. "

 

 

 

Here are a few more expanded noun phrases I created! 

 

Aim to create around 7-10 expanded noun phrase's ready to put into your story when you start writing it. Watch the video as many times as you like, you might spot some interesting nouns to describe! 

 

Take care Kensuke 

 

Literacy writing task for week beginning 27th April

 

Alma

Write a story based around a new child being sucked into a new doll, using the story of Alma as inspiration.

 

As part of Walkley's expanding online learning program, we are posting a new, weekly writing task for you to complete. 

 

This weeks task is based around a write you excelled in earlier on in the year- writing the story of Alma.

 

Watch the story by clicking the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw0uORumRts

 

However, for this weeks writing task we are going to build on this story. 

 

The task is to write a story based around a new child being sucked into a new doll.

 

Elements of the story that WILL change from your original Alma story are:

  • The child (think of the age, appearance, clothes, personality- all of this is your choice!)
  • The action (how does your child end up writing on the chalkboard, how do they enter the shop, what happens in the shop?)

 

The story of Alma is great for building up tension, and making the reader feel the suspense of the story.

Think of the way the door suddenly opens for Alma once she walks away, or the reaction of the doll on the tricycle trying to escape and the way the doll in the shop moves to the top of the shelf! 

 

The question is- How are you going to build tension in your story?

 

For today's task you are going to create a story board of your story. Focusing on what will happen, and how you will build tension in your story.

 

Below I have attached a story board you can use. However, I haven't got a printer at home so my example is on my whiteboard (that I MAY have taken from our class!). You could of course use paper!

 

 

 

My first bit of storyboard.  Below is my analysis of what makes mine a useful storyboard 

 

 

When you write a small description of what happens,  think how you will build tension ( I have done this through foreshadowing ) and the little details ( this will give you more to write about and describe in your story ).

 

 

 

Next part of my story.  Here I tried to use the background noise of a dog barking/growling to create a sense of something negative may happen. 

 

Enjoy Kensuke!   I would love to see some completed pieces?  

 

 

 

 

 

 

10/04/2020

 

Hello!

 

Quick writing task for you, to help Mr W out!

 

Backstory: My girlfriend keeps telling me that i'm "rubbish at using the washing machine" and "STILL don't know which liquid goes in which compartment". She also keeps telling me once they are washed i'm "just awful at hanging clothes up" to dry and that "they will never dry as quick like that!". So your writing task is a simple one- HELP Mr.W learn how to wash and dry clothes as effectively and girlfriend-pleasingly as possible!

 

You should write two sets of instructions for this task.

 

  1. How to use a washing machine.
  2. How to dry clothes effectively.

 

I would recommend using these are the title of your two sets of instructions, you can magic, imaginary beans if you can include:

  • A correctly punctuated list
  • A colon or semi colon
  • Use of clear, concise descriptive language
  • An easy to read and follow layout and design

 

For the editing process, type your handwritten lists into microsoft word (or a similar software)- using their spell and grammar check will be a great way to spot some slips! 

 

If you like to really help me, send your lists via enquiries@walkley.sheffield.sch.uk

 

Enjoy Kensuke children!

 

 

 

 

Ideas on how to practise your spellings

Hello Kensukes - here are some strategies for practising your spellings brought to you by Miss Travis and her very willing assistant.

Find your age related spellings on the Lockdown Learning Log

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